Dearest most lovely Esther,
I have finally seen your face.
The face that has forever wrecked my life and shaped me and taught me more about the heart of my Father. The most lovely face, every single inch of it created in the image of God.
I know you now. I know your story, the heartbreaking moments that have led to you becoming mine.
I’ve seen you, watched you play, heard you speak through amazing videos that landed in my inbox, a gift from the heavens.
It’s astounding to be head over heels in love with someone I have never held in my arms. But I am smitten.
I have studied every inch of your little-lovely-self. I know where your freckles are and found a single dimple on your left cheek. I have gazed into your beautiful almond shaped eyes, searching for anything I can find to know you better.
We are so stinkin’ ready for you QueenE. You are ours and we are fighting for you daily.
Your sister sleeps with your picture. Your papa throws his head back in laughter over the videos of you. We rewind them and replay them in slow motion, trying to catch every view of you we can.
Our tribe, your family and friends-like-family, they’re all in love with you. They watch the videos over and over again just like we do. They are buying you clothes and toys…they are IN. We are all IN for your little life.
And your special need?? That’s exactly what it is to us…special. Super special. It is beautiful and all together lovely because it is how you were knit together. That little cleft-lip grin you flash at us makes us melt. We can’t imagine your little face without it.
I have learned, my darling, through your little life, that Jesus is drawn to brokenness, it is attractive to Him. Before I ever saw you that life changing day, I asked Jesus for HIS eyes. And guess what, He delivered. The thing that in your history caused abandonment and loss is the very thing that is the most attractive to me about you.
Jesus sees all of our broken, quirky, cleft-lip like places and is attracted to them. He is attracted to suffering, to brokenness, to the not-the-same-as-everyone else stuff that we believe disqualifies us…He is drawn to it because He knows HE ALONE can fix it…can make it whole.
And you, my little love, will be made whole.
He has set you up sis. Set you up for a big ole’ victory.
In a few short months you will experience the beginning of the restoration of your life.
I can’t wait to have a front row seat.
We are coming for you QueenE … you have no idea how much we love you. But you will know soon.
DISCLAIMER: We can not post a full photo of her face yet! We are not covering it for any other reason other than that…and the fact that you will die a million deaths when you see her whole face because she is the kind of cute that inflicts physical pain.
ESTHER FEI HAMMETT (aka QueenE) // The Facts:
She is the cutest child on the planet besides my first daughter, so, sorry they are the cutest, you do not win.
She is 2 years old.
Her Chinese name is Fei. (pronounced Fay….as in a good ole southern name)
She speaks mandarin…already…so there’s that
She has an unprepared bi-lateral cleft lip and palate.
She already has a world renown cleft team, ready and PUMPED to do her surgeries.
She will have 2 surgeries in the first year of being home, one to repair her lip, the other to repair her palate.
She will be in our arms in June/July of this summer!
We are over the moon in love, smitten in every way and ready to rock her world.